If We Are Shadows
by desertredwolf
Summary: Soulmates!AU. Just because someone finds their soulmate, does not mean they will live happily ever after. With love, there sometimes is no guarantee. Can Morgana and Merlin overcome the betrayals of the past? Or will previous mistakes forever define them? Written for QLFC, Season 4, Round 13. Beater 2 for Puddlemere United. Oneshot.


**Written for Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, Season Four (Round 13)**

 **Team:** Puddlemere United

 **Position:** Beater 2

 **Prompt:** Oh, That's Such a Cliché – Write a Soulmates fic.

 **Bonus Prompts:**

1\. (setting) Hogwarts' library

3\. (word) passion

15\. (word) prod

 **Word Count (not including title and author's notes):** 1570 (Google Docs)

* * *

 **Important A/N —** Concerning Merlin and Morgana (Morgan le Fey): Harry Potter canon significantly diverges from Arthurian legends and folklore. Legends state key events in the court of Camelot and King Arthur's reign happened early on in the Middle Ages (late 5th/early 6th centuries); Harry Potter canon places key events and people much later. According to the Harry Potter Wiki, the year Morgana was born is listed as "962 or later" and Merlin is recorded as being born in "982 or later." Hogwarts was founded "around 990 A.D."

For the purposes of this story, Morgana was born in 979 A.D.; Merlin was born in 982 A.D.; and Hogwarts was established in 990 A.D. The story takes place in December of 999 A.D., which is during Merlin's seventh year in Hogwarts. And yes, there really was a full moon on December 25, 999.

* * *

 **If We Are Shadows**

Frost crawled across the window panes of the empty castle. Well … of the _nearly_ empty castle. Most everyone who normally inhabited the castle were either down in the village or deep in the forest, during what was being considered as the most important night to occur in the last ten centuries. However, there was one soul still left in the castle. Tucked away in a lonely corner of the half-finished library, a talented young sorcerer found himself buried in paperwork and books.

His mentor had told him to catalogue every book currently in the library and, once he was finished, to then start compiling a list of new additions that should be added. It was busy work, something to distract him from what he was missing, and he knew it. It made him angry. While the work was not glamourous, and he dearly wished he could be outside with the others, he repeatedly told himself that it was important, too.

He wondered if he would have to continue to lie to himself over the course of the entire night, for him to be able to believe _that_ blatant lie.

"You were always thinking too much."

The words may have been whispered, but they still carried a sharp edge and hardness about them. Like cold iron, they cut through the quiet of the library and the stillness of the winter night. The sorcerer's breath caught in his throat in shock. He knew that voice...

 _No_ , he thought in a panic, _how did she get here?! She can't be here!_

"It is not possible," he murmured. Determined, he kept his gaze locked on the open book before him. There was a moment of silence in the library, before he heard soft footsteps walk across the floor. Another pause and then a delicate hand reach across the table and gently closed the book. Slowly, Merlin looked up and met Morgana's eyes.

 _She looks good … for a murderer_ , he thought bitterly.

"What do you want, Morgana? Why are you here?" His voice was like steel. He had waited for this moment long enough and demanded answers.

"I am here because I am meant to be," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She narrowed her eyes at Merlin and despite himself, he moved a step back.

"Why are you here?"

Despite her critical and harsh tone, the words she spoke sounded almost soft to Merlin's ears. There was a tender, bittersweet note to her voice, and it made him want to respond to her in a way he had not done in a while.

 _Stop it_ , he thought, _she uses Dark magic. She is evil. She does not need a…_ Friend? Teacher? … Lover? He was not quite sure how to finish that thought. His mind flashed back to the incident over the previous summer and, from the look on Morgana's face, he knew that she was remembering the same event.

"Merlin, why are you here?"

He tried to fight it — really, he did — but Merlin could not resist the pull of her voice.

Wearily, Merlin sighed and started to explain, but was suddenly cut off by Morgana.

"Do you know why today is important, Merlin?

Merlin frowned. "Is it not obvious?" he asked.

In a way, it was incredibly obvious. While some people, mostly Muggles, were celebrating Christmas, every one with an ounce of magic knew that today was the Festival of Souls.

The Festival was quite literally a once in a lifetime event. It marked the ending of one thousand years and coincided with the rising light of the last full moon of this millennia. The Four Founders of Hogwarts had discussed with the students how manifestations of magical energy would be quite extravagant and powerful. There were whispers among the ghosts in the nearby village that the veil would be practically nonexistent at the height of the festivities.

There were even some who said that the Fey Courts would be quite active, while others whispered that mortals may be able to travel to Avalon.

But no one ever spoke as such around Merlin. Everyone knew why the most powerful sorcerer to walk this earth was essential locked in his room. They were afraid what would happen if he were to attend. And after last summer, he could not help but agree. Better he be as far away as possible, and kept as busy as possible, and then maybe they all could prevent another … _incident_.

"Then," Morgana continued to speak in a gentle tone, the same voice one uses before bad news is imparted, "you know I cannot stay long."

Whatever Merlin had been expecting to happen during this encounter, it had not been that. He glanced up and looked at her. The longer he looked, the more he grew concerned. Her skin, normally pale, was now like alabaster. Her eyes had changed from the deep, vivid blue Merlin had long since memorized, to a paler and icier hue. It was almost as if she was—

"Dead?" Morgana finished his thought, her lips turned upwards in a half smirk. "Not quite. See, after you traded my soul to the Fey for, oh what was it again? Remind me."

Merlin shuffled his feet and looked away.

"What was that, Merlin? Speak up now!" The way Morgana prodded Merlin for answers was anything but playful. Her voice held more than just a hint of malice and anger, and she was relentless in her questioning. "What was it? What did you need so badly, that you sold my soul to get it?"

"The—"

"Witchflower," she cut across him "admittedly, a rare magical plant. But one you could have easily found … had you taken the time and looked for it."

"You killed someone!" Merlin blurted out. "And you used Dark magic to do it!"

"And there it is." Morgana gave him a sad smile. She reached out towards him and out of habit Merlin took her hand. The familiar golden glow flared to life, albeit a little dimmer than Merlin remembered.

"Merlin, we are each other's perfect match in almost every way. Who poisoned you against me?"

"They spoke about you," Merlin whispered. "They said things … that you were using Dark magic. They said you had to be stopped."

Morgana took a step closer and gently cupped Merlin's face in her hands. There was little space between them now and Merlin found it hard to breathe.

"My power lies in Dark magic. Just as yours is in the Light. But you know me, Merlin," she gently ran her hands down his chest, golden magic sparking into existence as she went, "would I ever use my magic to commit evil?"

"You killed someone," he murmured.

"It was self-defense, Merlin," Morgana chided. "I am not a killer."

"I—"

"We are soulmates, Merlin. You know what is true."

He did. And that was the problem. As soon as he committed to the deal with the Fey on that fateful summer afternoon, he had regretted his actions. Shame had consumed him and even magic had become harder to use. Slytherin had tried to help him move past the magical block, but nothing helped. Merlin knew that it was because he had betrayed his soulmate.

"Rowena was concerned about me, when I left Hogwarts," Morgana suddenly said. "It was hard, being the student that eclipsed the great Rowena Ravenclaw, but used Dark magic. She thought I was going to become corrupted, but I knew that I never could."

"She was right to be concerned," Merlin said.

Morgana shook her head. "But she was wrong," she insisted.

Merlin reached up and stroked Morgana's hair. It was as soft as he remembered and he gazed into Morgana's eyes. Neither moved, out of fear of destroying the moment. Morgana's eyes were filled with passion and unsaid things and Merlin knew his reflected the same emotions to her.

"How do you know she was wrong? How do you know that you would not have been corrupted?" Merlin murmured.

Despite their past history and all of his mistakes, Morgana's eyes shone with love. "Because I had you," she whispered.

Despite himself, tears began to roll down Merlin's face. Guilt consumed him and he tried to turn away, but she gently held him in place.

"Do not turn away from me," she said as she brushed away a tear. "After you left me with the Fey, they bound my soul to Avalon. I am technically no longer living. I am only here because of the magic of the day. And my time is running out."

Merlin suddenly felt overwhelmed. "I-I … Please do not leave! I- There is so much I need to tell you."

Morgana smiled and placed a hand over his heart. "We were always like shadows," she said, "dancing around what we could truly become. Now, though. This right now is our moment to be more than that."

Tears were falling down both of their cheeks. Merlin held her close and said the three words he never got to tell her. The words he always wished he had the opportunity to say.

"I am sorry."

Morgana reached up and pulled him into a gentle kiss, as she began to fade out of existence. Her last words to him were a whisper on the wind, but Merlin would never forget them.

"I forgive you."

* * *

 **Additional Prompts:**

 _The Fairy Tale Challenge — Diagon Alley II_

Fairy Tale Prompt _(10 points)_ : Hansel and Gretel - Write about abandonment.

Picture Prompt _(10 points)_ : Picture #5 — Shadows Dancing

 _Year Long Scavenger Hunt — Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges_

Prompt _(25 points)_ : Write about creating or destroying a library.


End file.
